From the Fifth Floor

You know a guy is full of himself (or a lady for that matter) when they are talking loud enough for the entire subway car to hear.

“I’m just really savy at stocks you know? I mean, some people have lost but my shares are great.”

“Man, grad school is so lame. Like, I flew through my finance classes. I mean- shouldn’t they be harder?”

“We went out for sake on Friday night and man was it wild. I mean, normally I don’t go for sake bombs cause I don’t like risking splashing my RL button-ups, but this chick said she liked my style so I knew it was going to be a good night.” (Commence bro sarcastic chuckle…)

“Bro- I wish I could go back to playing lacrosse every day. I’ll just have to settle for 4 days a week now I guess. It just gets hard to find time. What with all my dates with woman who don’t realize their own self-worth and  my scheduled hair appointments to keep up my grown man Justin Bieber-like hair, it gets hard to find time. “

Okay maybe that last one was was a stretch…

So Mr. Polo, I could handle your loud comments, I could handle your stupid conversations. But what I couldn’t handle is your conscious decision to make eye contact with me, and then proceed to LEAN on the poll directly in front of my face.

Not only are you breaking rule #1 of subway car etiquette (Don’t hog an entire poll with your body so no one else can hold on), you also shoved your color blocked Docker’s covered butt right into my face. And I quickly became very uncomfortable.

So now, your butt (and yes this was the real distance from my face), is being shown off to 2,000 people. You’re welcome.

If anyone can identify this man by his non-existent butt and tucked-in polo, tell him he messed around with the wrong lady.

Linking up with the awesome Molly today for #YoloMondays! Showing why Mondays can be just as good as any other day, in this case, for pure sarcastic, humorous revenge. And a lesson to everyone– don’t lean on the poll!

HAPPY MONDAY!!