I know. It’s been forever. I’m not going to even justify my absence because truthfully, I don’t have to. But this summer has been an amazing time of growth and joy in my life and I’m really glad I just hunkered down and enjoyed it.
But I think I’m back for a little bit more.
The reason I really wanted to come back this evening was to share this article. Read it please?
This whole summer, I’ve really been going back and forth with New York. It’s the most rocky relationship I’ve ever had. I think a lot of people that don’t live here (and even some that do), don’t really understand what I’ve felt about New York, but this article really sums it up. I mean, it really really does. Except for the fact, that I’m still here and this author was smart enough to get out.
So for those of you that only know me in the blogosphere, those of you that have been tracing my NY journey, you might be surprised by the above stunning revelation. But now, after months of silence, I’m here to admit.
I really don’t like New York.
It’s not that I’ve failed the city, or that the city failed me, as the article describes- I’m really just “eh” about the whole thing. It’s not that I think the city is made up of assholes, or millionaires, or that I don’t agree with the politics or something, but really, it’s just not for me.
I’ve changed jobs, changed boyfriends, changed friends, changed hobbies, changed apartments (oh yes, I’m literally back on the fifth floor now), all looking to make my “place” in New York, but finally I’ve just realized that my “place” is NOT New York.
I’m at peace with my feelings too. I’ve made my way here. If I leave, I’ll be totally cool with what I’ve accomplished.
Now I don’t want y’all to think I’m unhappy. Oh no- there is a lot to be happy about. There are a lot of new and exciting things on the horizon. I’m not groveling down the street everyday. And I’m such a lucky and grateful person. While I’m doing just fine here in the Big Apple, I just think my heart could really be working much harder if I was outside the confines of the island.
So there you have it.
Ask me about in a week though, I’m pretty confident I might just give you another story. Cause Lord knows I’m up in the air as to what this means about my life. Who knows, maybe I’ll find a reason to love this place.